Life Contract

Wrote this is my private notebook on 11/21/2011 at 12:01am

I, Audriana Elizabeth Martinez, Born on October the 6th, 1993, from this day forward, do solemly swear, Not to have sex with, Kiss, Marry, Date, or have kids with anyone else except, Jonathan Lee Paquet JR., Born on, April the 12th, 1988. No matter what. This Contract includes both males and females, and has no experation date. I completely understand that JJ may never come back into my life, but i would much rather spend my life alone, than with anybody else but him

Print Name:________________________________________
Signature:_________________________________________
Date of Birth:_______________________________________
Place of Birth:_______________________________________

I signed it && everything.

I've made up my mid

I'm headed south. I cant do winter up here anymore... Thursday morning i woke up at 4 and ouldn't go back to sleep. So i just figured, i'll look up the weather for today. Laconia 28 degrees, snow showers, 4-6 inches. "Lovely" i thought to myself sarcasticlly. Then i thought "just for laughs, i'll look up the weather in Miami, Florida. Miami 85 degress, Mostly sunny with a few passing clouds. Lmao i was like, "why do i torture myself like this?!"





I think moving back to Florida would be a good idea in my case. Winter just isn't it for me anymore. I can do scorching heat no problem, But fierce cold winds slapping me in the face, thats another story entirely. Plus i think with my current situation with JJ and his family, getting out of this state is deffinately a good idea. Just need to keep saving money. I'm already looking into apartments down there! Lol if i do end up living in Florida. I will be so happy. And who knows, if i come back for a visit after a few years, and JJ finds out i'm back in town..... I can tell him to kiss my ass right to his face.. Lmao i'm such a bitch :)... But then again, isnt everyone like that after they've been destroyed to a point past forgivness?

Fool me once

I hate this so much. We dated once when i was 13, he dumped me after 2 weeks then i tried to commit suicide over him. As you can see, it didnt work. I drank bleach while sitting fully clothed in a tub of warm water. i woke up in the hospital 2 days later. They had to perform emergency surgery on my vocal cords because they bleach melted them. i had to wear a neck brace for a little while before i could talk again. And after that i never really wanted to talk to him.
That happened at the beginning of my freshman year. 3 years later towards the end of my senior year. He texted me. Too make a long story short. I was so scared to even be around him again. But we hung out alot at his place and i could still feel that stupid feeling creeping its way back up to the surface, after i had buried it years ago. Finally, we slept together. I was just gonna "hit it and quit it" but i came to my senses and realized i couldnt do that. After more hanging out. He finally told me that he wanted to be with me. Like a fool, i took him back. The last 10 months of my life were amazing. But sadly he left me again.

I'm sensing a pattern here. He only texts me every couple of years. Well you know the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I'm not about to go for a third time so If he does text me a few years down the line and says "Oh i made a terrible mistake, i want you back" Im gonna tell him to kiss my ass. He lied to me. He bought me an engagement ring. Introduced me to his family, Pretty much sewed me into it. Then he just dumps me and doesnt even give me a straight answer when i ask why. I was gonna have a family, a mother, everything... Now its all been viciously snatched away.